Dating guide: navigating relaxed through the web of true love
Exams, learning groups, keeping your shared accommodation going - you already a lot on your plate. How on earth do you find time for your love life? One thing is certain: spending ALL your time on your studies doesn't do you any good either. You're standing on your own two feet for the first time, getting to know yourself better, developing your character - and that includes experiencing love, passion and relationships with all their highs and lows. This dating guide will show you how to enjoy your romantic adventures while staying healthy and confident.
You're more than a photo
It's convenient, of course: a swipe, a standard message, and off you go with your next flirtation. Another click, another ego boost. But what happens if you've swiped umpteen times and there still isn't a peep from your mobile? That can really knock your confidence. This is why it's important to remember that as convenient as online dating is, it isn't real life, only a very small part of it. So before you think about retouching your photo, improving your taste in music or adding more unusual hobbies to your profile, try this: put your mobile away, go out, and meet people in real life. That too can be pretty lively and full of exciting encounters - at house parties, semester parties, when touring the bars and clubs, or even in your learning group.
Further information
If you find it hard to make the first move, choose activities where you know you'll have things in common with the others: at blind date dinners, it's the passion for cooking, in the uni choir it's the love of music, and on the volleyball court it's sport.
Proper protection at all times
You think that safe sex was only a big deal back in the 80s. If only! The HIV virus is still rampant - not to mention the good old-fashioned venereal diseases, which can be extremely unpleasant. Chlamydia, for example. This is the most common bacterial infection in Germany, and - like most venereal diseases - it's transmitted by sexual contact. Condoms can help prevent infection, but they can't rule it out completely. This applies not only to chlamydia, but also to clap, genital herpes, HIV and syphilis. Vaccinations are only available in a very few cases, e.g. hepatitis B and genital warts.
Gonorrhoea, AIDS and scabies
However, it takes more than just a condom to enjoy your love life safely and to the full. Proper bodily hygiene will make sure that fungal infections don't stand a chance of attacking your skin and mucous membranes. Be careful when shaving or epilating: it's easy to cut yourself, and this increases your risk of infection.
And even though it probably isn't the kind of sex talk you have in mind: particularly at the beginning of a relationship, you should both talk openly about the subject and consider getting tested. You can get this done by visiting a urologist or gynaecologist, or - more anonymously - at a public health office or AIDS centre.
Why all this non-stop dating?
The wine glasses from your last rendezvous are still in your room, and you actually feel pretty tired. But you're already in flirt mode and ready for the next evening. So what's driving you? And what's wrong with spending an evening by yourself for a change?
If you're determined to enjoy your time at uni and your idea of enjoyment includes casual flirtations - go for it! But now and again, you should take time out and ask yourself what you're looking for. If your restlessness is concealing a need for confirmation, it would be better to take a break from dating. Short-term recognition doesn't make you happy in the long term if your psyche is lacking a solid foundation. It's important that you have a stable group of good friends, for example; this is the best remedy against lonely evenings and gloomy thoughts. Something else that can do you good: a new hobby. Sounds trivial, but it can help turn your mind to other things.
Now is exactly the right time to do or not do whatever you want - and to find out what this is and what makes you feel fulfilled. There's nothing against finding this out as part of a couple. But love shouldn't be a stopgap.
